False Impressions and the Proverbs 31 Woman

Did you ever have an impression of someone you later found out was all wrong? Have you ever met someone you felt a little intimidated by but as you got to know them better you really liked them, maybe even became close friends? Most of us sort of roll our eyes and feel intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman (as described in Proverbs 31:10-31), but I challenge you, as you get to know her better, you will love her.

I am so pleased to introduce you to my author friend, Lauren Crews, who is guest blogging for me today. Her book, Strength of a Woman: Why You Are Proverbs 31, teaches this misunderstood woman in a way we have never been taught. I promise you will see that we have had her all wrong. You will be encouraged and see how you really are the Proverbs 31 woman, and how your Bridegroom sings over you.

Here’s a taste of her book.


A Little Background Will Make You Reevaluate the Proverbs 31 Woman.

Few things in life are more encouraging than receiving a compliment or being told, “well done.” I know as a mom, I worked hard, often sacrificing for my family, and rarely received a “thank you,” let alone a “good job.” Can I get an amen?

Did you know there is a song in the Bible that Jewish men sing over their wives every Friday night when they celebrate the start of their holy day Shabbat? It is a heroic hymn, a song that celebrates her strength and victories in life. 1 Samuel 18:6-8 is an example of one of the Bible’s heroic hymns. It tells us that when “David returned from killing the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing, and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy, and with musical instruments. The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousand.” These hymns were sung to celebrate a conquering hero, something uncommon for the woman of ancient times. The song still sung over Jewish women today is Proverbs 31, eshet chayil.

Would it surprise you to learn the Proverbs 31 passage has a military theme? In Hebrew, verse 10 opens referencing this woman’s strength, her chayil. English has translated eshet chayil as a woman of excellence or a woman of valor, but in Hebrew, valor is the word strength. The same word always used to describe the strength of a soldier and the military. Overall, the passage refers to this woman’s strength five times, as well as other military references such as girding, spoils of war, and acting as a watchman on a wall.

Proverbs 31 also holds the rhythmic beat of poetry. The passage is an acrostic poem of the Hebrew alphabet. That means that each of the verses 10-31 begins with a consecutive letter of the alphabet. Hebrew letters hold more than just a sound. They have a word picture image linked to them as well as a numeric value. Acrostics help with memorization, and we still use acrostics today to jog our memory. For example, the acrostic F.R.O.G. reminds us to Fully Rely On God.

The passage also refers to the works of the tabernacle priest. Proverbs 31 sprinkles reference the material worn by the priest and colors seen in the tabernacle throughout the twenty-two verses. It even alludes to the sacrificial work of the priests. A beautiful reminder that those sacrifices I made for my family are holy and honoring to God.

Finally, we must honor the context and understand that the passage was written to a man seeking a wife. Still, the reading can be a source of strength and encouragement for the single woman and even men. This idea of strength is revealed immediately in verse 10, which begins with the Hebrew letter alef. Alef holds a word picture of an ox. As a man seeks a wife, the first thing he should do is yoke himself to a strong woman. It might not seem like a compliment to be referred to as strong as an ox, but in the yoking process, they become a working team and depend on each other’s strengths.

A believer’s priority is to yoke ourselves to the strength of our bridegroom, Jesus Christ. He tells us in Matthew 11:30 that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. As we partner with Him, we draw from His strength. Likewise, the heart of our bridegroom Jesus will trust in us (Proverbs 31:11), and we can make His name known at the city gates, our places of activity (Proverbs 31:23). And ultimately, it is the goal of every believer to hear from Jesus that elusive, “well done.” (Proverbs 31:29-30).

This passage holds so much more. At first glance, it is tempting to turn the page and think that this woman is an unobtainable standard. When we acquaint ourselves with the unfamiliar language and the judgment often tied to the passage, we can experience the melody of a heroic song scripted by God, who sings over us as a celebration of our worth.

To help learn this new song, ask yourself:

  1. Before reading this, what was my first thought of the Proverb 31 Woman?
  2. What have I learned today that might change how I receive the words of Proverbs 31?
  3. What burdens do I carry that can be eased through yoking myself to the strength of Christ?

Join me in prayer: Lord Jesus, I thank you for the strength you offer. I am eager to join your yoke and work with you. Lord, thank you for this song, which honors our strength. Amen.


*Ideas and phrases were taken from Lauren’s article “Sing a New Song,” which first appeared in Refresh Magazine, June 2020.

Lauren Crews is an award-winning author and teacher. She holds an MDiv from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and 20 years in women’s ministry. Her book, Strength of a Woman: Why You Are Proverbs 31, looks at the Proverbs passage through the imagery of the Hebrew alphabet and won the Christian Market Book Award for 2020. Lauren lives in Jacksonville, FL with her husband and two brown labs who have them well trained.

You can find Lauren’s book here.


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  1. Hester Karen on September 9, 2021 at 10:58 am

    So interesting never thought of the yoke-comparing it with my husband and of course with Jesus

  2. Penny Cooke on September 9, 2021 at 12:10 pm

    Yes, her whole book is so interesting and different. Highly recommend.

  3. Jeanne Roberson/Inspiring Souls on September 10, 2021 at 4:49 pm

    Wonderfully informative! I love how the husbands sing over their wives : )

  4. Penny Cooke on September 10, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    Yes! And while some may not experience this now, it’s a beautiful picture of how Christ sings over us, isn’t it?
    Thanks for stopping by, Jeanne.

  5. Jennifer on September 24, 2021 at 11:14 am

    This has been sitting in my email waiting to be read. And just what I needed this morning as I’m feeling weak and worn down. Thanks for the guest post, I’m certainly going to check Lauren’s book out!

  6. Penny Cooke on September 24, 2021 at 5:11 pm

    Prayers for you, my friend. Yes, you will love her book and its message!

  7. Melissa Kreidel on October 9, 2023 at 11:27 am

    Beautifully stated💗

  8. Penny Cooke on October 10, 2023 at 3:17 pm

    Thanks so much, Melissa. God bless you and thanks for stopping by.

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